Monday, October 29, 2012

International Friends: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Spending the last 12 years in 5 different countries has spread out our friendship base.  We have friends and family all over the world, in every continent except one, Antarctica.  This has wonderful benefits.  Almost anywhere we travel we know someone, get insider tips and sometimes free places to stay.  It broadens our awareness of the world, especially our children's (remember The Olympics: Withdrawal and Identity Crisis?).  Today, with things like Facebook, Skype, email, and airplanes 1,000 miles is nothing but a mouse-click away.

On the contrary, something bad happens somewhere in the world everyday.  The more dispersed your friends are, the more likely something bad is going to happen to them.  Riots in Eygpt?  Our DC renter's from last year now live in Cairo.  War zones?  Almost 10% of our colleagues work in one. Earthquake in Canada?  Our good friend and dog sitter from our first post in Mexico lives there.  Hurricane in Cuba, DC, NYC?    Best friends from Guate are now in Cuba; DC is our homebase; and NYC, someone from everywhere lives there :).  Tsunami in Hawaii?  Got it covered.  My husband's college mates live there.  And so it goes.

Each day when the news blares its tragedies, we flip through our mental rolodex, searching for our connection.  When we find them, which we almost always do, we send an email, a message, a phone call, to see if they are all right.  We still haven't heard from our friends in Cuba.  If you, by chance read this, S & T, please let us know if you are okay.  If someone has by chance heard from them and can pass on the news, please do.

Our world is a whole lot smaller than most people's.  Global connections are not just virtual for us.  Although I love the "We are the World"- feel of it all, I sure wish the world was an inherently more peaceful place.  But it's not.  That's why most of us are out here, doing what we do, so "[other's] lives will be stronger and free."

To our friends in harm's way,
Hang in there and stay strong.  Please know we're thinking of you.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Jealousy about relocating? Really? What is wrong with me?

I can't believe it.  I think I'm jealous.  I hate moving.  With a passion.  But, there I was, driving home from the supermarket, bubbling with jealousy.  Before I headed home, I dropped off a young woman and her baby who just arrived to post yesterday.  As one of their family's sponsors, a friend and I stocked their kitchen, picked them up from the airport, and will show them and drive them around until their car arrives.  They just completed the hellacious journey from Texas to Belgrade with a baby.  They have been waiting for weeks to receive orders so they could come.  They have been living off of airfreight for a year and a suitcase for months.  All stuff I really, really, dislike.  But I'm jealous.  I am.  I'm jealous.

The day before yesterday we opened up their house.  All that is there is the government issued furniture and the bare-bones items (plates, sheets, towels, etc.) from the "Welcome Kit."  It's a beautiful apartment, part of what was once a grand old home, that's now been divided into several:  rounded fireplace, hard-wood floors, arched entrances.  As my footsteps echoed off the bare walls, I was transported back to my arrivals, the excitement, the relief, the hope.

You can picture it, can't you?  You are finally home, walking into this skeleton of a house, with generic furniture, and empty cabinets; you are home.  Discovery is around every corner; "Oh look!" a sun-porch behind the heavy curtains over by the couch, a peek outside and you discover a nice, green yard and a view of the neighbor's pool (hmmm, gotta get to know them!).  There's toilet paper in the bathroom and food in the fridge.  Someone made you dinner.  You feel so blessed, so lucky.  People are so nice.  A block away you discover a park, a pharmacy, a bakery.  Wow, this is your neighborhood.  This is your house.  Finally.  Not all of it is roses.  You make your eyes flit over the rough spots.  Every place has rough spots, some more than others.  This is your home now.  You feel some ownership to this place.


As much as the arrival at every post is the same, the differences are marked.  In Guatemala, my husband saved a moth that died in the laundry room until my son and I arrived.  It was as big as my hand.  The millipedes crawling up the walls were as long as my forearm.  National Geographic in my bedroom!  Awesome!  In Macedonia, we picked apricots and pomegranates from the overgrown and neglected garden (complete with a moldy armchair) outside the student dorms down the street.  We discovered a resident ground hog there.  We had lovely porches for every room of our house, but my neighbor's honing pigeons loved to perch on them, facing my neighbor's house; hence, a line of pigeon bums outside my kitchen windows and pigeon poop slathered all over the porches.  Ah, but who can complain.  It was funny.  The windows were grand, even if the view wasn't.  Again, we are so fortunate, so lucky.  So many of the people outside those windows heat their homes with wood-burning stoves if they are lucky.  Too many make homes out of whatever they can find.

The relief of coming home is immense, after months of living out of a suitcase, you get to put things in drawers.  Your drawers.  You don't have to worry about all of your stuff that you sifted through for months and then packed them in big crates to sail across the ocean.  It's a good thing it takes months for your stuff to arrive.  You need the breather.  You need the space.  Your space.

Home.  Discovery.  Gratitude.  Excitement.  These are the words that describe arriving at a new post for me.  They are wonderful feelings, and they are why I am jealous.  When I was showing our new friend the grocery store today, she marveled at the variety that was offered on the shelves (which maybe equals the selection at a 7/11), I nodded in agreement.

"We've got everything we need," I shrugged.

"We must live large here!"  she said with a smile.

Yes.  Yes, we do.


“Is there anything, apart from a really good chocolate cream pie and receiving a large unexpected cheque in the post, to beat finding yourself at large in a foreign city on a fair spring evening, loafing along unfamiliar streets in the long shadows of a lazy sunset, pausing to gaze in shop windows or at some church or lovely square or tranquil stretch of quayside, hesitating at street corners to decide whether that cheerful and homy restaurant you will remember fondly for years is likely to lie down this street or that one? I just love it. I could spend my life arriving each evening in a new city.” 
― Bill BrysonNeither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe

Monday, October 22, 2012

Pink in 66 Languages: Are You Wearing Pink Today?

Today US Embassy Belgrade Employees Are in the Pink!
pink     розе     rosa     pienk     rozë     وردي     վարդագույն     çəhrayı   ружовы     পরাকাষ্ঠা     розов     粉红色     粉紅色     roze     růžový   lyserød     roze     rozkolora     roosa     rosas     vaaleanpunainen   rose     ვარდისფერი     ροζ     ગુલાબી રંગ     woz     ורוד     गुलाबी   rózsaszín     bleikur     warna merah muda     bándearg     ピンク   ಗುಲಾಬಿ ಬಣ್ಣ     분홍색     ສີບົວ     rosea     sārts     rožinis     розова   merah jambu     roża     رنگ صورتی     różowy     roz     розовый   ružový     roza     இளஞ்சிவப்பு     లేత ఎరుపు రంగు     สีชมพู     pembe     рожевий     گلابی     màu hồng     pinc     ראָזעווע

You can create your own "Pink Day" to raise awareness of breast cancer.  Pick a day.  Advertise.  Wear pink.  Easy peasy.  Do it.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The 10 Commandments of an Expat

I. Thou shalt not expect to find things as thou hadst them at home, for verily thou hadst left home to explore different things.

II. Thou shalt not take anything too seriously, for a carefree mind is essential for a healthy body.

III. Thou shalt not let other expats get upon thy nerves, for one or both of you art likely to be transferred soon away.

IV. Thou shalt refrain from acting exceedingly high and mighty, for thou art the same person thou wast before thou had a cleaning lady.

V. Thou shalt not buy everything thou sees; thou already hast a houseful of things stored in thy home country.

VI. Thou shalt not sit and mope and feel unwanted or unskilled; there art many people (like CLO) who would be grateful for the donation of time and energy.

VII. Thou shalt not worry, for he who worrieth hath no pleasure - and few things are ever fatal.

VIII. When in Kenya, thou shalt be prepared to do somewhat as the Kenyans do.

IX. Thou shalt not judge the people of the country by the one person who hast given thee the most trouble.

X. Remember that thou art a guest in a foreign land, and he who treateth his host with respect shall be honoured and might even receiveth an invitation to visit again.

~Author Unknown~

Thursday, October 18, 2012

About Breast Cancer: Something Easy You Can Do: Wear PInk on Monday, October 22.

If they can go pink so can you!

On Monday, October 22, wear PINK, give curious folks the facts, encourage them to learn how to self-check and to ask their doctor when they should get annual medical checks.

IN A NUTSHELL:
1.  WEAR PINK
2.  GIVE FACTS
3.  SELF-CHECK
 4.  MEDICAL-CHECK 

Here are the facts:





EASY!  DO IT!


It's October, folks.  Half-way through it and I just learn it's National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM).  Good grief.  Better late than never, I suppose. 

One of my fondest memories of our time in Skopje, Macedonia was being a part of their first-ever Go Pink March.  In April of 2006, Skopje, Macedonia's old stone bridge streamed with hundreds of pink-clad people for the first time since its foundation was built in Roman times.  The "Kamen Most" which links the city center with the Old Bazaar has witnessed throughout the centuries, earthquakes, wars, and executions.  Now, maybe, that bridge will link to hope.


comparativist1 CC BY-SA 3.0
Wouldn't this look awesome pink?
My husband's dream, as the U.S. Public Affairs Officer in Belgrade, is to bring the annual walk he helped establish in Skopje to Belgrade next year.  The cherry on top of this dream is to have the Belgrade's new epic Ada Bridge join the world's famous monuments' Global Illumination by making it glow pink for the month of October.  Now THAT would be so cool!

This year on Monday, October 22, the US Embassy in Belgrade will encourage folks to wear pink and will sell pink buttons to people who don't own pink or who just want to contribute to the cause.  Proceeds from the sale of the buttons will go to support breast cancer prevention or treatment organizations.  


Dietmar Bartz CC BY-SA 3.0
Breast cancer knows no boundaries
One of the most interesting events I discovered in researching NBCAM, was the Global Pink Jihab Day, October 24, 2012, where men wear pink skull caps and women wear pink jihabs  to promote breast cancer  among Muslims.

So, if you are in a city in the world where there is no march, rally, or activity, do your own thing.  Help save a life.  WEAR PINK!








Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Upromise | Make the Pledge

Upromise | Make the Pledge: I am making the pledge for my child to help fuel their dreams and teach them the importance of saving for college. I am joining the millions of families committed to collectively save a billion dollars for college through Upromise by Sallie Mae.

Merry Christmas! Oops, I mean, Happy Halloween! Wait. What Season Is It?

This morning at breakfast I watched my daughter zone out while looking out the window at another grey day.  She caught me looking at her.  "I like watching the trees shiver," she mumbled.  And "shivering" they were.  The day is a bit cool with a sky smudged with dirty clouds; the wind howls.  Yep.  It's October, folks.

I used to get indignant when I would see Christmas decorations up in U.S. stores around Halloween time.  Can't we just enjoy the moment, I'd grumble, without always missing it by planning ahead?  They don't do that over here.  Christmas stuff maybe appears around the 2nd week in December. If Orthodox Christmas wasn't January 7th, then maybe it would grace the shelves around December 1st.  That's the way it should be, I think.  Enjoy one season at a time.

Sadly, though, I'm on the U.S. retail calendar now.  I've been forced too.  Even though we can communicate with each other instantaneously via Internet, we still haven't created a Star Trek-style transporter that teleports our real stuff in seconds, rather than weeks (or months!).   The holidays are extra, extra slow.  Instead of the somewhat reliable 2 weeks, it can take up to 2 months or more for mail to arrive.  If I don't get gifts sent by the first week in November, they just might not arrive in time.  If I don't order stuff for the kids, it just might not arrive in time.  Been there.  Done that.

While living in the Western Hemisphere, I only had to order by Thanksgiving to be safe.  Europe is a whole different matter.  I did my Turkey Day ordering my first year in Macedonia.  All I can say, is thank goodness for Orthodox Christmas (the stuff arrived January 6) and thank goodness for the always-on-time- mostly-early-forever-military grandparents so my kids had something to open on December 25.  I can only imagine Asia.  Christmas in July takes on a whole new meaning.

Even if you don't feel like it, start (sorry, I'm late for you, China) ordering your stuff for Christmas, start making those crafts for Gramma and Grampa, and get them in the mail.  You don't want to be last minute shopping for gifts on Christmas Eve that generally cost twice as much overseas.  It's painful and no fun.

So, let's get into the spirit of things!  The holidays must begin!
                               
                                  Merry Halloween!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Bad Mothers or Just Different? How Living and Moving Overseas Can Open Your Eyes

Okay, I don't want to get into the pros and cons of breastfeeding verses bottle, or  family bed verses independent sleeping, or all the other issues that divide us as mothers.  What I want to talk about is how on this one night, at this one dinner,  nine women sat around a table and responded to the "confessions" of a mother of an eight-week-old baby with total acceptance.   There was no judgement, no condemnation, only phrases like, "Everybody is different," "You do what you think is best for the baby and yourself," "What works for some, doesn't work for others, "We're all doing the best we can," "Look at what our parents of the 60's did and we're okay."  The new mother's eyes shone with gratitude.  It was just what she needed after a "friend' of hers told her she couldn't believe what she had done and that she should have tried harder.  Her friend said that to her, a new mother.  A new mother.  And this woman apparently has children of her own who are perfectly healthy, behaved, balanced, intelligent and will be the next president, or Gandhi, or Nelson Mandela.  Right.

I know the statement by the "friend" is not atypical.  The majority of mothers know this.  Why is it that so many mothers are their own worst enemies?  By what standard are we judging ourselves and why?

One of the women at the dinner mentioned a book titled, Bad Mother: Chronicles of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace, by Ayelet Waldman.  I haven't read it yet, but from my friend's description and the Amazon Book Description, it falls in line with what I've been thinking lately:
In our mothers’ day there were good mothers, indifferent mothers, and occasionally, great mothers. Today we have only Bad Mothers: If you work, you’re neglectful; if you stay home, you’re smothering. If you discipline, you’re buying them a spot on the shrink’s couch; if you let them run wild, they will be into drugs by seventh grade. Is it any wonder so many women refer to themselves at one time or another as a “bad mother”? 
In a video reading of the book, Waldman finishes the excerpt with, "Can't we just try to give ourselves a break?"  Last night, we gave that new mother a break.

What happened last night?  What is it about mothers of the nomadic life that might enable them to give other mothers a break?

Well, we've had to do things differently.  We play by different rules.  Who else has had to leave their home for 12 weeks to have her baby?  Who else isn't sure if her husband will make it in time to see the birth of his child?  Who else has to have their baby sleep in a pack and play for months on end?  Who else has to "make do" without a stroller until your shipment arrives?  Or at least a stroller designed to withstand potholes, nails, and no sidewalks?  Who else has had to schedule weaning, potty training, and then the transition to the big kid bed around moving and home leave?  Who else has to walk in front of your crawling baby at the playground in order to remove broken glass and other sharp objects out of the way?  And who else has to judge a playground based on whether the swings will withstand a baby body, the barbed wire is  intact and not flaying within child's reach, and the concrete slide isn't too high for you to help your child down?  Who else has to decide whether the trip to the doctor is worth the taxi ride without seat belts?  Also, so many of us send or have sent our children to school in armored school buses or know someone who does.  So many of us know someone who lives or has lived in a war zone.  Too many of us have lived in a war zone.  So many of us are three degrees of separation away or less from a victim of a terrorist attack.

Too many factors of our lives are out of our control.  But isn't that the truth for everyone?  No one controls her life.  As much as we might like to think we know the best way to do things, something falls into our laps that changes everything.  No one can know if everything will turn out like we want it to or expect it to.  No one knows when our time will come.  Maybe nomadic mothers know that life is out of our control more than most mothers.  

It shouldn't be that way.  It shouldn't take a developing country, a war zone, or a terrorist attack over your shoulder to give fellow mothers a break.  We, mothers, need to open our eyes.  Every single one of us is so different, our lives are different, our situations are different.  Let's support each other, accept our differences.  Let's give each other a break.  God knows we deserve it.





Monday, October 1, 2012

Supplementing Local Education with Home Country Standards: United Kingdom

Help me reach everyone.  
People from 72 countries have viewed this 
site and I want to include them all. 
PLEASE, if you have any education 
information for any country, comment 
below. I'll post your flag and give you the 
credit if you like.


The United Kingdom:

A British friend of mine gave me some resources for UK standards.  The Home Education Advisory Service is a UK-based organization which supplies information on homeschooling for a moderate price.  You can order resource pamphlets and handbooks on topics ranging from special education, home education overseas, resource ideas, mathematics, and general information.   The "links" section of the website contains valuable links to free information.  You can also check out the UK National Curriculum site.

Two down, 70 to go!

Postcard Poem: My Serbian Mayfield