The List and the Crystal Ball: the best thing about moving

The List has come out.  For those of us in the Foreign Service, you know what I'm talking about.  There is no other List.  For those of you not in the Service, the list is a compilation of job openings around the world that Foreign Service employees bid on for their next post.  The List contains our future.  The List is like a crystal ball.

The List transports me back to my childhood, sitting in my Florida bougainvillea cave diving into the pages of National Geographic, dreaming of jungle treks and peering down from the Eiffel tower.  Do you remember the ring-necked women of Thailand?  The chimpanzee hugging Jane Goodall?  The gold-encrusted King Tut's tomb?  I traveled all over the world from my blanket beneath those rose-colored vines.

I'm one of those rare creatures, a native Floridian, a 4th generation Bradentonian, Floridian to be exact.  I grew up in the old South.  As a 9-year-old wearing white gloves to cotillion, I bowed to pretend dignitaries and learned how to waltz.  As a young bride, I attended tea parties in my honor and had a trousseau.  Really.  Although I loved climbing orange trees and floating in the Gulf of Mexico, something pulled me beyond the Sunshine State.  As I devoured every National Geographic magazine that landed at our house, I knew I wanted to be "there."

The List takes me "there."  A decade ago, before the omni-present internet, my husband and I thumbed through our pocket atlas, the corners chewed by our dog, Oxford (yes, as in Oxford University, where my husband and I met (collective, "ah," now)).  I remember thinking, "Where in the heck are Ljubliana, N'Djamena, and Tbilisi?  And how exactly did you say them?"  I remember drifting through the pages of my atlas, running my finger over the map, and then sailing back to those pages of National Geographic and imagining myself there.  I've now been to Ljubliana and know how to wrap my tongue around that consonant-imbibed word.  N'Djamena and Tbilisi just might be in our future- only The List knows . . .

To this day, The List helps me feel my American worldly  ignorance as it shows posts by their capital cities, rather than the countries.  Not that I would know where  Eritrea, Guyana, or Malawi are either.  It sometimes makes me feel doubly stupid.  It also sends me to the computer, googling these enticing enigmas, dousing me in color, in wonder, in awe.  It carries me to the desert, the glaciers, and metropolises.  Eventually, it lands me in my new home.  Then I'm living it.  I'm living in the pages of National Geographic.

I love the journey through The List.  Now if only it could transport me passed the packing, the saying goodbye, and the airplane flights, and plop me into my new adventure, as easily as turning the page of my magazine.

Why not get paid to shop online?

Okay.  We shop a lot online.  I hate shopping online (it always feels like it takes hours!), but in most cases, products are cheaper and of better quality from the U.S.  Plus, U.S. stores are familiar.  We know what we are getting.

I don't remember how we stumbled upon Upromise, but I'm glad we did.  It pays you to shop.  Seriously. Well, actually it adds money to a college fund which is still pretty cool.  If you shop through the Upromise site (its directory includes almost every shopping site known to mankind) you get a percentage of your purchase price (1%-25%) added to a college fund, plus you get deals and coupons just for Upromise users.  You can invite your family (who aren't planning on going to college) to join you in your savings.  If they shop through the site, it will add to your fund!  For those of you stateside, you also can get a percentage of your bill from local restaurants and grocery stores added to your savings.  Score!   It doesn't cost you an extra penny!

For those of us lucky enough to have APO/DPO addresses, one frustration with shopping online is whether or not stores ship to APO/DPO.  I have started a black list of the stores who don't (grrr), but left it in Serbia (I'm on R&R in the U.S. at the moment) and promise to share it with you when I return.  I did some googling and found this site which includes a discussion and list of APO friendly online stores.  I find it easier, though, to know the stores that don't send, since the list is shorter.

For those of you who don't have APO/DPO address, I found MyUS.com, a service where you can "buy" a U.S. address and they will re-ship it to you.  This service seems to be the most cost effective.  You pay an initial set-up fee and a monthly or annual fee based on your needs (from $0/month/year to $25/month or $195/year) plus a percentage of the order (minimum $10).  If you have used this service or others like it, please let us know about your experience!

So, the one consolation for the hours of frustration it takes to shop online is that you're at least saving for you or your kids' college education.  It's almost like being paid to shop.  Who can beat that?

Spouses, share with us your online shopping advice!

Why doesn't a RESERVATION with United mean RESERVED seats on the plane?

Okay, what in Wright's name is going on?  (Get it?  Wright brothers. Okay, not so funny.) In the last week we've flown on 7 flights with United and it's partners and only once was I able to get seats together with my 6 and 9-year-old.  The one flight with seats together was the flight out of Belgrade to Frankfurt which is never full and there are no assigned seats.  On the 8+ hour flight from Frankfurt to Chicago in which I was flying alone with the kids, they had the three of us spread out over the three sections of the plane, and all in middle seats.  Wonderful.  So, not only did I have to negotiate for seats together, I had to do it with middle seats.  Who wants to sit in a middle seat for a transatlantic flight?  No one.  No one had pity on the lowly mother with young children spread across the plane.  One woman actually said to me, "I'm not changing my aisle seat on an 8-hour flight.  I'll look after him.  You don't need to worry."  The mama bear woke up inside me (my 3am wake-up call (did I ever really fall asleep?) wasn't helping) and it took all of my will power not to - even verbalizing my thoughts would get me into trouble.  Finally, a wonderful gentleman overheard the conversation and told me that at his wife and two children were flying to Japan at the moment (compatriots in need of karma!) and switched his aisle seat with hers and then switched that seat with my middle seat.  Wherever you are, my airplane knight, I thank you, again!

We had made these reservations 2 months prior to our travel.  Like usual, in making the reservations, they asked for the ages of the kids.  And, like usual we thought that in making RESERVATIONS we were RESERVING seats together.  Apparently, these two words no longer are related.  This has never happened to this extent before now.  The ticket counter woman kept saying that now in addition to buying the tickets you have to reserve seats.  But when we tried to "reserve" seats on flights 5 days in the future, all seats were full and they couldn't put us together.  Then we tried to reserve seats for our return to Serbia in a month.  The agent said that we couldn't; they hadn't assigned an aircraft yet.  Um.  So, when can we reserve seats?  When the aircraft is assigned.  When will the aircraft be assigned?  We won't know until it is assigned.  Am I in some kind of Orwellian airlines warp?

Spouses, does anyone know how to reserve seats together for flights with United?  I'll be damn if I have to deal with this on our way back.  I have a feeling that I'll be damned.

When do you break the news to the kids? Some tips and our favorite book and video for kids who are moving

I find that it helps for kids to process the move when they see others that have been in similar situations in books and videos, but I highly suggest keeping the moving conversation really general ("Yep, we'll move on to another adventure in a little while,") until you get closer to the actual move date.  Remember, to a 3-year-old, a month is a REALLY long time.  We made the mistake of telling our young son 3 weeks out and every day for 21 days he would ask, "Are we moving today?"  Time is not a concept that toddlers can grasp.  A week, maybe two before pack-out, are totally enough for those under 4.  Having a calendar where they can mark off days helps them understand how much time is left.

Before, during and after the move is a good time to read books and watch videos on the subject.  Our favorite book is, The Berenstain Bears Moving Day.  The bears are moving from their forest cave in the mountains to their famous treehouse.  It teaches kids how to say goodbye to good friends and to meet new ones.  I especially like the scene when Brother Bear goes to sleep in his bed for the last time amid boxes piled up around the room.  I can totally smell the cardboard!

Little Bill's, Same Moon, Same Sun, Same Stars, is by far the best video about the subject that we've found.  Oh gosh, it makes me cry every time I watch it.  But don't let that turn you off!  It's a great clip about a neighbor of Little Bill's who is moving and how he doesn't want her to go.  She sings to him that they will forever be linked by just looking up at the sky, because no matter where you are in the world, you and your friends are still sharing the same sky together.  Sniff, sniff.

If you are interested in these items, there is a link to them in the sidebar to the right.

Spouses, what other books, videos or songs have you found that speak to our moving kids?  Please leave suggestions below!

Thank you! Gracias! Hvala! Khawp khun! благодарам! Merci! for Jennifer's Language Blog!

It's amazing what "Thank you" can do in the local language.  We yearn for it in our everyday lives and feel gratified when we hear it.  Over and over again, we teach our children to say it. It may be the two most important words in the English language.  It is no different in the rest of the world.  When you say, "Thank you," in the local language it can mean so many things: "Thank you for your patience (when you pantomimed a bee to find honey), for your honesty (as they count out the foreign change in your hand), for your help (when a fellow patron translates for you), or for your welcoming smile.

Jennifer's Language Page shows you how to say, "thank you" in over 2,000 languages!  It also includes "please," greetings, and how to ask a person's name, the phrases that open the door to a relationship ripe with opportunities to learn about each other's countries.  Write the phrases on an index card and keep it in your pocket when you venture into the city.  Don't be shy to pull it out and read the phrases.  Believe me, your efforts will be appreciated!  You don't want to be seen as the, "Ugly American," slowly and loudly enunciating each English word, cramming them down a local's ear.  Even though many people around the world do speak English, saying even a few words in the local language will enrich your sojourn and take you places you never dreamed you could go.

Click here to go to Jennifer's Language Page to learn how to say many phrases in pretty much every language!

Leaving town? Kids need closure too. 6 ideas to ease your move.

Six ideas to help ease your kids' transition out of town.

1. Hold your own goodbye party and invite the families of your kids' friends too.  Make it a potluck (I'm big on potluck- so much easier!) and outside (again, easier!).
2. Make a list of the 3 places you want to see again in your town before you leave and then see them!  You can change the number of places depending on the length of time you have before you go.  Take pictures and put them in the album in #3.
3. The last month/week you are in town go around and take pictures of your kids with their favorite people (friends, teachers, neighbors) and in the places they went the most (school, library, tennis class, soccer field, ballet).  Make a cheap photo album with them and let them decorate the cover. Let them bring the album in their suitcase or carry-on.
4. Use a shoe box or gift bag and let them fill it with "special things" from the place your leaving (flowers, peebles, bus tickets, things that won't fit in the album).  They can decorate the outside and bring it with them.
5. At the end-of-the-school-year party, let their friends draw and write goodbye pictures and messages on a t-shirt or large poster board to bring with you.
6. Always talk about your move in terms of an adventure!  Kids love adventures!  When you all start to bemoan all the places and people you are going to miss, acknowledge the difficulty with moving and commiserate, but then balance those sad thoughts with happy and exciting ones, all the places and new people you are going to see!  Do some research on the internet and find some cool places that you'll go to in your new town.  Talk them up!

Onward, nomads, onward! 

Spouses, any other ideas to smooth over the rough edges of "the move?"  Please share.

Travel tip #3: Let the kids pack! Really! Free Packing Lists included!

I have a nine-year-old and a six-year-old.  In May we went on a four day trip and I tried something new.  I had them pack their own suitcases.  Really.  I know what you are thinking!  But, no, they didn't end up with 2 t-shirts and no underwear.  I made them packing lists, ones I can print out again, and it worked gloriously!  I typed out all the possible items they might need and left a blank next to each item so I can fill in the number depending on the length of our trip.  Then I left a big space after each item for them to make a check mark when they packed the items (they love making check marks).  For the younger one, I have pictures next to any items she might have trouble reading.

I had saved the clear zippered cases bedspreads and sheets come in (unfortunately I save stuff, not a good trait for someone who moves a lot, but this time I actually used the stuff!).  I had them use these cases (a laundry basket lined with a trash bag works for those of you smart enough not to save "stuff") and they filled their bags, zipped them up and brought them upstairs to the big duffel bag.  I dropped the two clear cases into the duffel, zipped it up, and, "Wa La," packing was done.  When we arrived at our destination, I lifted the clear cases out of the duffel bag, no clothing jambalaya to deal with, and dumped the contents into their appropriate drawers.  Geez, I sound like one of those people who organize peoples lives for a living.  Ha!  I just kinda stumbled on this.  I have to admit, I'm quite proud of it.

I've included a Free Children's Packing List like I describe in the first paragraph, so you don't need to make one!  Just click "read more" below.  Enjoy your trip and the extra time you'll have before it not having to pack for everyone!

Here an example of one of my beautiful, ridiculously time-consuming creations, but your free, click-of-a-button printable.  The copy didn't come out perfectly here, but you get the idea.  Click on the links to take you to the original sites for downloads.  You can change them to fit your needs.  See how much I still love you?

General Packing Checklist

Girl's Packing Checklist

Boy's Packing Checklist

Girl’s packing checklist:

Item	#	x	Item	#	x	Item	#	x
Pants			Bathi			Socks
coat			Short			Hat
Rain coat			Short-shirt			Glove
shoes			Longshirt			Scarf
Sandals			Underwear			brush
Dress shoes			PJ’s			paste