Jet Lag: Giving and Soliciting Tips to Avoid the Mushroom Effect

I'm about as creative as a mushroom at this point.  I haven't blogged since the day I left for Europe.  My body has been here 4 days.  My head is somewhere over the Atlantic.  Jet lag never seems to get easier.

Some things I have learned that do help jet lag:

1. Sleeping/resting/zoning with your eyes closed as much as possible on the airplane. This tip is not helpful if you have kids.
2. Hydrating.  A cup of water each hour and no alcohol, no matter how tempting it is.  I know nothing worse than a hangover mixed with jet lag.  That is one bad cocktail.
3. Reverting immediately to the new time schedule when you arrive.  That means, setting your clock to the new time zone and following accordingly the usual activities for that time of day.  If it's day where you are stay up until it's night.  It it's night pretend to sleep until it is day.  
4. Taking melatonin.  My husband swears by this.  It's supposed to reset your clock.     
5. Taking an epsom salt and baking soda bath.  I haven't tried this remedy yet, but it sounds like it's worth a try.  A hot bath is never bad.  After 7 international flights in the last 12 months, I'm willing to try anything at this point.  My step-mother, Pat, learned this remedy on her trip to Egypt from folks of the Edgar Cayce Association of Research and Enlightenment.    It worked for her on the15+ hr trip from NYC through Geneva to Cairo and then staying up in Cairo for dinner and then on the 18+ hr trip from Athens to NYC and then down to DC.   

As Pat says, "Mother was visiting in DC with Jane (her sister) and they met me at the DC airport the Saturday night before Easter.  Mother said, 'You sure won't be going with us to the National Cathedral for Easter,' and I said, 'Oh, yes, I will,' and I was absolutely fine the next day.  All I can tell you is it really worked for me -- and for others who did it.  My roommate (in Egypt) was a bit stubborn and 'knew better,' and it took her almost 3 days to get on Egypt time 'cause she wouldn't try it -- so that's the story!"

Here are her anti-jet lag instructions:

After a long flight (either direction), don't go to bed until the bedtime for the 'new location,' and before you go to bed, take a 'soaking bath,' in a regular tub to which you have added 1 cup each baking soda and epsom salts (I took them w/me in plastic bags in the suitcase for flight over), then dry off with towel being careful not to "cross your arms or legs over one another (e.g., the meridians) and go to bed, again being careful 'not to cross the meridians,' and lay on your back to go to sleep -- you'll wake up the next morning totally refreshed and on the 'new timezone.'

What else works for jet lag, folks?   Please tell us your jet lag stories, preventions, and remedies.  You are a wealth of experience and information.  Please share.  

Part Two: Why doesn't a RESERVATION with UNITED mean RESERVED seats?

Thank you, Spouses, for your sympathy and empathy regarding my previous post about United reservations and reserved seats!  At least we know we are not alone.  Unfortunately, no one had any advice.  There seems to be a vacuum with airlines when it comes to retrieving information that would alleviate a passenger's anxiety (re: a parent sitting with her small children; why a plane is delayed; whether or not a flight will be cancelled; you know only too well).

 Right after my post, we contacted our travel office and asked if they could reserve seats together for myself and two small children for our three upcoming United return flights in a month.  Well, we were able to get them for the 1/2 hour flight to Chicago (oh, goody!), but not for the 8-hour transatlantic flight, nor the flight from Germany to Belgrade (since United can't book a "partner's," Lufthansa's, seats.  Do they, by chance have the phone number for Lufthansa? HA, fat chance!).  The transatlantic flight plane had not yet been assigned, so they couldn't assign seats.  Lovely.  So, we asked when the airplane would be assigned so we could then reserve seats.  Logical inquiry, don't you think?  Quite typically, the United agent had no idea.  No advice.  No idea.  Silence.  Heard that before?  Click.

I  wasn't very concerned with the Germany to Belgrade flight since the passengers are predominately from Serbia, a place where  chivalry has not died, and mothers with children are given a status just under Novak.  I decided to focus my energy on United, my new nemesis.

The next foggy morning, I scoured the Internet, looking for advice outside of the spouseabroad.com network.  Amid the moaning and the groaning, I found one piece of advice.  Call a couple days before your flight and try to reserve your seats then; you have a better chance of getting them.  Okay.  Not a diamond, but worth a pick.

So yesterday morning I called United Customer Service (1-800-241-6522); we head to Belgrade on Friday.  I prepared to put on the speaker phone and pack while I waited for a human to answer the phone.  Lo and behold, 30 seconds after the robot interview, a human, a very nice human, who I'll call Laverne ( I like her so much that I don't want her to get into trouble), answered the line.  Was this a premonition of success?  30 seconds.  That never happens.

I politely explained to Laverne my predicament and history of my seven United flights this last month with not a single one with a seat with my two small children.  I asked her if I could reserve seats now.  I heard keys clicking and then a long pause.  A very long pause.  "Well, for some reason," she said, "they have your kids in row 36B and 36C and you back in 48K.  Why they did that, I have no idea."  Click, click, click.  "I'm sorry, mam, but there are not any three seats together.  I can put you in 34H, a bit closer?"  Now it was my turn to play the pause game.  I let my seething silence burn for as long as I could (probably 4 seconds) and then flames spewed forth from my mouth.  At least they did in my dreams.  In real life, I knew that the fate of this trip was in Laverne's hands.  Don't you hate that?  I pleaded with her.  I stated the obvious safety issues with the oxygen bags.  I told her about having to barter with our three middle seats on our last United transatlantic flight.

"I can't give you seats that aren't there.  If you want to pay the Economy Plus fee you could have reserved seats together earlier,"  she replied.

"How much earlier?"  I asked.

"I have no idea," she said softly.  Ah.  No idea.  Silence.

Wait!  What about advice?  My heart was racing.  It couldn't end here.  I couldn't let my spouseabroad.com buddies down!  I begged her, if she couldn't get us seats, could she at least tell me how I could get seats together the next time I flew?  Where did I go wrong?  I listed all the ways I had tried.  My voice trailed off.  I was despondent.  I had lost.

"You should have gotten seats together when you reserved the ticket.  You must have gotten it too late."

In monotone I stated, "Nope.  We bought them April 3rd."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Well, if you call exactly 24 hours before your flight the blocked Economy Plus seats open up and you can maybe get three together then."

"But, there's no guarantee, is there?" I sniffed.

"No, there's not,"  she sighs.  "Well, next time, have the agent make a note saying, 'traveling with small children,' at the top of your reservation.  So, if you do have reserved seats and special situations arise where they have to move people, they will be less likely to move you.  You see, on the agent's computer screen, the birth dates are in tiny print at the bottom of the page; whereas, this message is at the top."

"Thank you, Laverne.  I'll do that, but still no guarantee that we'll end up together?"  I sniffled.  At least I would have some advice to pass on.

"No.  I'm sorry.  No guarantee"

Silence.

"You know, I know how it is," Laverne softly said, "I've had to travel separated from my kids before too.  They are grown now, but I haven't forgotten."  Click, click, click.

I hold my breath.

"I think I can get you seats together.  I'll put it into the system, but it won't show up on the roster until 24 hours before the flight is to leave.  I'm also putting, 'traveling with small children,' so, hopefully, they won't move you."

I did not question how or why.  I just gushed with gratitude.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Laverne!  Oh!  You just made my day!  My week!  My month!"  I could just envision our flight.  No groveling, no bartering, no hunched-over waiting with our carry-ons sitting in our seats for a Good Samaritan to cross our paths.  No yelling reassurances to my kids scattered in two different parts of the plane.  "Oh, Laverne!  Thank you!  You have a great day!"

"You have a better one!"  she chirped.

Laverne, if you only knew.

Unusual Friends: Don't Let a War Get in Your Way

If a U.S. soldier shot down during the Balkan War can make friends with the Yugoslav Captain who shot him down, just imagine what you can do.

Dale Zelko, a US F117A stealth pilot, and Zoltan Dani, the Yugoslav missile colonel who shot him down during the Balkan War, met and became friends a couple years ago.  Their families have also met and a friendship has begun.

Optimistic Film is creating a documentary, The Second Meeting, about their reunion, which includes video journals by the two soldiers and live filming of their meetings.  In a review by The Wild Rooster, an international journalist's blog about the Balkans, the author states that, "Serbian documentary maker Željko Mirković has produced a film that is grounded in a message of reconciliation."

When it all comes down to it, folks, we are all just human, trying to support our families and doing the best we can.  Get out their, Spouses.  It's amazing what any gesture of respect and reconciliation can do for world peace.  Seriously.  We are diplomats too, believe it or not.  I became a true believer of that during our first tour in Mexico when our neighbor, during her tortilla-making demonstration, smiled and said to me, "I didn't know Americans could be so nice," then frowned and said, "But you sure don't know how to cook."  

I know "world peace" sounds a bit, well, lofty, but I really believe our friendships have a ripple effect.  For example, from experience, I know Balkan and Latino neighbors talk.  I mean, you can't do anything without someone in the neighborhood noticing (I love that.  "It takes a village . . ." ).  So, the action doesn't have to be grand.  I'm talking about a smile, a "hello" and "thank you" in the host country language, and an effort to be a part of their world.  That might mean going to the local market and visiting the same vendors every week (see 6 Ways to Feel at Home in Your New Home), teaching someone to speak your native tongue, or volunteering at a local charitable organization.  Reach out.  It makes a difference.  Don't let a war, or fear, or excuses, get in your way.  Dale and Zoltan didn't.  Your effort will reap peace.  What else can I say?

Ulysses and I: A Match Made in Heaven?

Who would ever guess that Ulysses and I are soul mates?  This one goes out to my soul sisters and brothers who love what we do.  

Ulysses

Alfred Lord Tennyson

It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.

I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees: all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Through scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honoured of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers;
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
As though to breath were life. Life piled on life
Were all to little, and of one to me
Little remains: but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.

This is my son, mine own Telemachus,
To whom I leave the scepter and the isle
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfill
This labour, by slow prudence to make mild
A rugged people, and through soft degrees
Subdue them to the useful and the good.
Most blameless is he, centered in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In offices of tenderness, and pay
Meet adoration to my household gods,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toiled, and wrought, and thought with me
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads you and I are old;
Old age had yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:
The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in the old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are,
One equal-temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Temporary Housing: How to Live a Year Without Your Stuff

For many of us, brief sojourns in temporary housing are inevitable, for training, fundraising, or health reasons.  We live for months without our stuff, living in generic extended-stay housing, with relatives, or in barebones rentals.  Most of us like our stuff.  It makes a house your home, even temporary housing.  Living without it can feel like living in a hotel room or a place where you don’t really belong.  In the last 12 years, I have lived too many times to count with relatives for up to 6 weeks during home leave.  I have also lived 3 times for 11-month periods on 700 lbs of stuff.  Pots and pans, dishes, clothes, toys, and bedding unbelievably fill that quota.  There is no room for, say, my 3 x 2 ft Guatemalan painting of a rainbow-clad senora, nor for, um, beds, dressers, tables and chairs.  Whether you choose the Oakwood, relatives, or a rental, here are a few ideas to making your temporary housing feel more like home.

1.  Live like a college student again.  Goodwill, Craig’s List, Ikea, and garage sales are great inexpensive ways to furnish your temporary housing and get the kids some “new” toys.  The last time we lived in the States for an 11-month training I bought our sturdy kitchen table and chairs at Goodwill for $65.  Granted, it was black vinyl and veneer.  Tablecloths do wonders.  Oh, and don’t be shy about stopping to pick up “free” stuff people set out by the curb.  That’s how I got a bookshelf and a TV console.  It’s 11 months, folks.  We’re not aiming for a feature in Martha Stewart’s, Living Magazine. 

2.  Don’t, don’t ship books.  They are heavy.  Plus, finding space is an issue.  If you’re in the U.S., discover your public library.  There is one in your neighborhood.  Second-hand stores are a wonderful place to find books.  Then you can donate them when you leave.

3.  Decal stick-on wall decorations.  They turn a kid’s room into, well, a kid’s room.  They also come off walls clean as a whistle and can sometimes be saved for the next new room.   Upromise (see my post, Why not get paid to shop online?) lists several shops where you can purchase them.  Search for "kids decals for bedroom walls."    

4.  Cloth tapestries decorate bare walls.  Scarves, cool fabric, or tapestries make good, light wall decorations.  Use no-stick adhesive wall thingies to hang them.  You can pack them in your suitcase and make home feel more like home while you wait for your shipment to arrive.

5.  Refrigerator magnets, photos, and kid art.  I don't know about you, but when my refrigerator is covered with photos of family and friends and kids' art, the temporary housing feels like home.  Pack them in your suitcase and throw them up right away.

6.  Embrace the uncluttered life.  Check out, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson, for some great ideas on how to live with less stuff.  It's amazing how little you need.  Your temporary housing stay can inspire you to get rid of some of that stuff when you finally do get it back.  I'm keeping my painting, though.  It's not clutter if you love it.  

Our motto is "home is where you unpack your suitcase."  Spouses, what are some ways you make temporary housing more homey?  Love for you to leave your ideas.

Moving: 6 Ways to Feel at Home in Your New Home

Okay, you've moved.  Your voice echoes off the empty walls of your new home and you are engulfed in a sea of boxes.  It's possible you feel a bit lost.  Here are a few tips to help you feel more connected to the ground upon which you stand.  It's no longer moving.  Hard to believe.  It kinda feels like when you step off a boat and you still feel the undulation of the waves.  Anchor down.  You'll be here for a while.

1.  Learn the language, or at least the words, "hello," "goodbye," "please," "thank you," "What is your name?" and, "My name is . . ." See Jennifer's Language Page for a plethora of words and phrases in about every language.

2.  With your new language skills (even chest pounding and pointing, "Me, Jane. You?" works surprisingly well) introduce yourself to a local neighbor by bringing some kind of tasty treat from your country.  Food requires little language skills and even if you can only get their names, you will be able to greet someone in your neighborhood.


3.  Introduce yourself to your baker, butcher, the carrot guy at the green market.  This helps you go somewhere where, "somebody knows your name."  Come on, sing a long with me now and click here for the Cheers theme song!

4.  Take a break with the language stuff and register with your local embassy.  Request to be added to their newsletter email list.  Ask if they have a cultural center associated with the embassy (Americans, google the "American Corners" in your country), go there and get involved with locals that speak your language!

5.  Learn a little about the government of your host country, the president's name, what sort of government system they have, or when elections will occur.  Wikipedia is a pretty good source.  This makes you feel knowledgeable about where you live, a little less lost and a little more involved.

6.  From Wikipedia, learn the different holidays in your new country.  Read about them and mark them on your calendar.  Why not celebrate them too?  Yahoo!  More holidays!

Ahoy, their mate!  Land ahead!  Spouses, share with us how you get acclimated to your new land.

Travel: 3 Airlines' Tips to Make Life Easier

It would appear as if flying rules my life.  Well, . . .
We just packed up my husband to return to Serbia, flights number 7-10 for him in less than a month.  As we were preparing for his trip, a few nightmare flashbacks popped into mind.  Again, lessons I learned the hard way, that my generous self thought to pass on, so you could fly more smoothly.  I'm so nice.

1.  A luggage scale.  I've lugged the suitcases, the car seats, the kids, and the carry-ons out of the shuttle, through the mobs of people, to the check-in line.  Then, I've navigated the maze to the counter, hefted the suitcase on the scale, only to find that my suitcase is 2.5 lbs. overweight.   Sweating, I then go through the awkward and embarrassing routine of redistributing underwear, socks, and peanut butter to the 6 other suitcases massed around me while muttering to my kids to stop playing tag in the tiny space between us and the maze of annoyed folks waiting in line.  You don't want to go there.



2.  Ear plugs.  I love kids.  I have them.  Crying babies are tough.  I've had them too.  Ear plugs are golden.  They muffle the sound enough to let you snooze.  Unless, of course, the crying babies are your own.  Then maybe you should bring a bunch of earplugs and hand them out to your seat mates as an act of goodwill.  These are also good for muffling the chatterboxes who lounge next to your seat enjoying their cocktails while you try to get some shut eye.  Saves you from the consequences of shouting, "Shut up!" in such a small space.


3.  An empty water bottle.  Hydration, hydration, hydration is the key to alleviating the airplane  hangover.  Flying makes you dehydrated which gives you a headache which makes you feel crappy (as if self-deprivation isn't enough).  Drink water.  I know the free cocktails are enticing, but when you're waiting in the interminable immigration line and then running to your connection, you will regret it.  You can't bring liquid through security, so throw an empty water bottle into your carry-on and fill it up before you board your flight.  You won't have to wait for the stewardess to bring around those tiny plastic cups of water and you save the planet at the same time.  Some airports (I think I saw them in O'Hare) have water bottle fillers built into their water fountains.  So cool!




Spouses, add your tips here!  We all need less turbulence in our lives.  Thanks!