Tuesday, June 5, 2012

moving sucks.

oh my gosh.  i just ran into a friend who is leaving post in a month.  i feel bad, but all that keeps running through my mind is, "thank god, that's not me."  i get the shivers just thinking about it.  thank god thank god thank god.  i love what we do and all, but i hate, hate, hate moving.  i like arriving at new places.  i like exploring new countries.  i love the adventures. but moving just plan sucks.

i was thumbing through my journal from last year and found the page where i started the countdown (1 month and 4 days to be exact) until moving day.  and then the to-do list.  okay, see if this doesn't make you want to throw-up (not that i want to make you throw-up, just saying): "find TB test results, scan school docs, schedule painter, get info from dry cleaners about time for rugs and down comforter, schedule mammogram, schedule cleaning service, clean out drawers, goodwill run, change address, make father's day presents, mail, buy june and july b-day presents, buy consumables, take pics of car for sale, clean car first, . . ."  And that's not even half of it.  the list swarms inside your head.  and there is nothing to stop it.  nothing to make it easier.  no matter how many times you do it, moving sucks.

after the swarm has diminished and the moving truck drives away and i walk back inside to a house that once buzzed with activity and energy and now is empty with used up packing tape rolls strewn around the room, muddy boot prints on the hardwood floors,  and chia pet puffs of dog fur huddling in the corners, i am too exhausted and empty to cry.  my footsteps echo through the house, bounce off the blank walls.  it's not my house anymore.

crap.  what the hell am i doing?  i can't go there and i don't have to for another 3 years!  3 years!  i can't believe i'm going to live in the same house for 4 years.  i haven't done that since i left my childhood home to go off to college.  what will it feel like?  you know, i hate to say it, but one of the first things to cross my mind when we got the okay to extend our 3-year tour one more year was, "damn, it's going to be even harder to move."  i couldn't help it.  what does this inevitable instability do to a person?  especially a person who lived in the same house from the time she was born until she was 18.  i used to say good-bye to hotel rooms.  that's how attached i used to get to places where i slept (no, i no longer do that.  can you imagine?  i'd constantly be homesick if i hadn't gotten over that neurosis).  I've been moving every year to 3 years for the last 23 years.  my god.

okay, we can ponder that one for a while.

Spouses, do you have some moving advice?  Why are you keeping it to yourself?  Leave it here.

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